Growing up I made myself a defense mechanism to protect myself from the things I hated the most. Humiliation and disappointment. But, around fifth grade I realized I couldn’t live with this eminent fear of failure. After all, you can’t avoid it in the real world. So, I shook it off, put on my big girl pants and decided to audition for the school musical. There were only two issues with this. I couldn’t sing, and I may have been the most uncoordinated child to ever live. Nevertheless, I started practicing my “vocal skills” with my red haired dreadlocked flute teacher from the Brooklyn Academy of Music. I figured while I was at it I should audition for a female lead. I’ll admit I was so excited, so excited I may have been telling all the kids in the halls of PS.29 that I was going to star in Disco Knights. You can imagine my disappointment when I was cast as Robert. As a ten year old who wasn’t accustomed to failure, there was a temper tantrum and a melt down and many tears. So yes I played a boy, actually he was the chess team captain and I got to wear a nifty checkered hat with a quirky button down and bell bottoms and trust me, I rocked it. And to this day, whenever I listen to my personal favorite from the soundtrack, Friday Night Fever, I remember how happy I was playing Robert. He wasn’t my ideal choice, but I tried and I learned to fail, and I got out of my comfort zone and this prepared me for all of the disappointing and humiliating moments I now embrace.
I love how honest your blog is,not just about the failure but about the feelings that led up to you auditioning and the impact it had on your life. I think its amazing how soon you learned to battle through your problems and fears. Great blog Sam!!
ReplyDeleteEssence-- thanks so much! You are my most loyal follower (: Can you find me in the picture? This definitely was an experience that taught me and impacted me from early on. Gosh, I am grateful for it now.
ReplyDeleteI love it!! I love the way I can hear your voice and tone as I read through it! Its awesome, and I love your glasses in the picture!! I wish I was as cool as you!! Great job, just watch out for a few grammatical errors, such as "things I hated the most. Humiliation and disappointment." I would change it by adding a semicolon instead of the period. Other than little stuff like this, awesome!
ReplyDeleteAle-- Thanks bud! In the future I will look out for those little grammatical errors. Anyway, thanks so much, it was a fun and reflective blog entry to write. I thought it would be tough to write, but honestly, failure is the only way you learn and boy did I learn.
ReplyDeleteAwesome voice. This made me smile. I am surprised that you were able to find a picture of the event. Great job.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all this picture is adorable! Love your tone throughout! Great job!
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